When it comes to love and relationships, many people have a lot to say. You will find thousands of different kinds of books tackling dating, marriage, and couple issues. It makes it difficult to find genuine impactful books that can help you develop fulfilling romantic relationships.
The best way to find fulfilment in your romantic relationship is to understand yourself and your partner. You have to know how to love and allow yourself to be loved. Most people don’t quite know what it means to love someone else properly. How do you exist in a relationship without losing your individuality? How do you put someone else’s feelings above yours and remain with enough room to love yourself?
To answer all these questions and more, we’ve picked out 7 helpful books on love and relationships. The following books offer the best advice on how to build meaningful relationships, understand love and enjoy your romantic connections.
1. I Got You: Restoring Confidence in Love and Relationships by Rob Hill Sr
I Got You is about you looking at yourself and finding practical ways to learn and grow as an individual so you can be a better partner. Rob Hill Sr reminds you that finding the happiness and fulfillment you need in your relationship is something you have to work on. He says that love is a decision you make every day. It is not a destination or something you stumble upon. Whether you are a new couple trying to figure things out or older with experience, this book is for you. It will help you understand yourself better, trust yourself more despite past mistakes, learn to appreciate your partner, and help you improve your relationship.
Favorite quote: Am I lonely because no one cares, or am I lonely because I’m not strong enough to let anyone get close enough to care?
2. Hold Me Tight: Your guide to the Most Successful Approach to Building Loving Relationships by Sue Johnson
Hold Me Tight focuses on the importance of attachment in relationships. It helps you understand the significance of your actions in making your partnership work. It reminds you that your love for each other is more important than whatever argument or misunderstanding you have. Dr. Sue goes beyond that and helps you identify the common arguments that couples have and the best way to reframe every conversation. The book is a sure guide to helping you and your partner appreciate each other more, understand one another, and always be there for each other. You will get practical advice on how to nurture your relationship and make your love last.
Favorite quote: If I appeal to you for emotional connection and you respond intellectually to a problem, rather than directly to me, on an attachment level I will experience that as “no response.” This is one of the reasons that the research on social support uniformly states that people want “indirect” support, that is, emotional confirmation and caring from their partners, rather than advice.
3. I Hear You: The Surprisingly Simple Skill Behind Extraordinary Relationships by Michael S. Sorensen
Rated as the number bestseller on Amazon, Michael’s book outlines proven techniques to connect at a deeper level and improve your relationship with your spouse. As you and your partner read the book, you will learn to listen to each other, feel heard and cared for. The stories he shares outline the steps you can take to approach everyday life and improve your everyday interactions. After reading this book you will be able to quickly resolve or even prevent arguments, increase feelings of love, appreciation, and respect.
Favorite quote: Effective validation requires empathy and emotional understanding, and therefore extends beyond simple reflective listening. We need to do more than just show others we hear the words they are speaking; we need to show them we’re connecting with the emotions they’re feeling.
4. Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love by John Gottman, Julie Schwartz Gottman, Doug Abrams, and Rachel Carlton Abrams
Eight Dates helps you discover your partner. It motivates you to stay open with each other and how to be honest about your needs among other things. Whether you are newly together or a longtime couple looking for ways to strengthen your bond, this book will help you achieve just that. John Gottman and friends show you the importance of talking about things that matter most to you and your partner. The book invites couples on eight fun and easy dates. Each one focused on critical issues like trust, conflict, sex, money, family, and so on.
Favorite quote: And when conflict comes, as it inevitably does when we weave two lives together, it’s our commitment to being curious rather than correct that allows us to turn toward instead of away from one another in the moments of disagreement.
5. Avoidant: How to Love (or Leave) a Dismissive Partner by Jeb Kinnison
If you are in a relationship with an Avoidant or are an Avoidant, this book is for you. It talks about people struggling with a lack of responsiveness and the inability to tolerate real intimacy. It mentions the reason behind these issues and gives insightful advice on whether or not you should stay with your partner. Jeb Kinnison focuses on helping you understand why your partner is avoidant and gives informative advice so you can decide the next steps on your own.
Favorite quote: “For if a mother unconsciously wishes to keep a baby addicted to her, there is no better strategy than being inconsistently available. Nothing makes a laboratory rat push a pedal more furiously than an inconsistent reward.”
6. How to Love: (Mindfulness Essentials Book 3) by Thich Nhat Hanh
How to love talks about the significance of meditation in building healthier, stronger, and longer relationships. It is a simple yet comprehensive guide to understanding love and expanding your capacity for love. The author focuses on helping you realize that love is understanding and that understanding brings compassion. He says you can only love another when you feel true love for yourself. He goes on to say deep listening and loving speech are key ways of showing your love. Some of the chapters in the book include Love vs. Need, Being in Love, Intimacy, Children and Family.
Favorite quote: Be a friend to yourself. If you are a true friend to yourself, you can be a true friend to a loved one. A romantic crush is short-lived, but friendship and loving kindness can last very long and continue to grow.
7. Relationship Goals Challenge: Thirty Days from Good to Great by Michael Todd
Whether you are tired of romantic relationships that have no purpose or looking to add some spark to your long-term relationship, this book will help you out. Micheal Todd focuses on three key values of relationships: purpose, healing, and oneness. He gives practical advice on finding fulfillment and joy in your relationship. You’ll learn to communicate better, understand how your relationship affects your individuality, find healing from deep-seated issues, and so much more.
Favorite quote: No matter what your official relationship status (married, engaged, dating, it’s complicated), it’s important for the health of the relationship that you’ve been working on yourself, trying to make yourself the best you that you can be. Hopefully your partner has been doing the same.
The final word
There are many kinds of books on love and relationships, but these ones are genuine and provide useful perspectives based on research and experience. You can pick any one of them or all 7, but the advice will only work if both you and your partner read through them.
Do you have a favorite book on love and relationships that you would want to recommend? Leave us a comment below!